Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Husband

Normally I wouldn’t bash my loving husband but last night I couldn’t believe what he did.

We woke up to the very distinct sound of a dog getting sick. Sammy didn’t make it far at all – She puked right beside her bed. She also didn’t sound like she was done. So Husband hurried her downstairs to let her out. Meanwhile, I scoped out the damage – not too bad. The mess was on the hardwood floor so would be pretty easy to clean up. I sat there waiting for Husband to bring up the cleaning supplies after he let the dog back in.

I could hear him pitter-pattering around downstairs, getting some water, letting the dog back in, moving things around. Then it got quiet— too quiet. What is he doing? My ears strained to hear anything. Where did he go, why is there no noise? The house suddenly sounded as it should at 2:30 in morning, as if everyone was sleeping.

SURELY he didn’t just make himself comfortable on the couch. SURELY he didn’t think he could just walk away from DOG VOMIT and it would be magically taken care of. SURELY he knows even if I clean it up, I NEED something to clean it up with.

“HEY, What are you doing?”

“What? I’m sleeping down here”

“WHAT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The dog VOMITS and you just go into another room and pretend it doesn’t exist?!

“I thought you cleaned it up”

Here is where I cry bullshit. No, he did not think I cleaned it up. What would I clean it up with? AND if he really thought that, he'd be back up in the comfortable bed. He was just avoiding the entire situation waiting for someone else to take care of the mess.

As you can imagine, a fight followed and I ended up cleaning up the VOMIT that he was happy to leave on the floor covered with paper towels. I also decided to sleep downstairs once I was satisfied the area was clean and disinfected.

My growing worry is what he will do when we have kids – “Here this one’s sick. I’m going to stay at my moms.”
Lucky me.


Linda said...

This is even funnier when I'm reading it because I've heard the story first-hand. As I'm typing this, I'm still laughing...

Mandy Terrett said...

Damnit! I would have done the same thing and my reasoning would have been that I will sleep down here to let her out quicker if she gets sick again. BUT I would have convinced you that it was a good idea. You would be so thankful and I once again avoided something that I didn't want to do until someone else did it!

hey its your fault you married me!