Friday, March 28, 2014

The Terrible Twos

I’m struggling.

The terrible twos are in full force at our house, and I totally lack the patience, time AND capacity to deal with this. Every day of the week there is AT LEAST one full blown meltdown. Oh and I’m not talking about throwing a little fit that is resolved by a stern talking to or even time out. I’m talking throwing things, rolling on the ground in hysterics, swinging and kicking at anyone in the vicinity and screaming for a good half an hour.

My emotions usually run the course of tolerant, to angry, to finally depressed. At first I accept that this is part of life. The angry portion usually comes when the tantrum has affected something larger, like me being very late for work. The depression comes after the tantrum has passed and I reflect on how much of our time together is mostly spent in this unhappy state. Also, I am acutely aware that how I handle the situation can solve or exacerbate the problem. And, lets be honest, I’m typically exacerbating the problem, leaving the blame on my parenting style.

This morning started out this way. So when I get to work I begin scouring the internet, looking for some advice and/or commiseration.

I wish I could tell you I found what I was looking for. Let me just share with you some of the CRAP I found.

RE: Managing Tantrums in Public
"Start by removing your toddler from the situation by picking him up and taking him to a quiet place such as the car or the bathroom. Hug him until the tantrum stops and provide guidance as you would at home. Do not give in to your child's demands. If he knows he can throw and fit and receive a candy bar, you can bet on a repeat of the same situation next time you run errands."

HUG HIM???? Yeah, I tried to Hug Caroline during one of her tantrums and almost lost an eye.

RE: Generally Managing Temper Tantrums
During a tantrum, it's important to remain calm and avoid inadvertently reinforcing the behavior. (Yea, no shit, Sherlock) Keep your emotions in check. If your emotions escalate, so will your child's. Do not laugh or confront her. Instead, ignore your child without making eye contact and wait for her to calm down. This will ensure you are not reinforcing bad behavior

Mind you, the above advice came from the same post that instructed me to hug him/her. But, ok, I get it, public vs at home. This is the stance I take most of the time, but it’s not always possible or realistic. YOU try being calm and wait the tantrum out when you are already 30 mins late for work. Yeah, the job that keeps a roof over our head is kinda something I can’t afford to eff up. And don’t tell me to get up earlier, because that isn’t the problem. We have been up at 5am and still had the same tantrum take place when right as we WALK OUT THE DOOR.

Oh how about when I googled “terrible two’s” and got this gem:

“The Terrible Twos: A Myth?”

I’ve got one finger that tells you how I feel about that headline. Needless to say I didn’t bother to click on it.

Then there are the mom message boards. They are sometimes more helpful and generally more supportive, but they also leave me wondering if they have any idea what I’m dealing with. For example one of the mom’s provided advice that read, “I found it helpful with my first daughter to get down to her eye level by kneeling and talk to her calmly until she settled down.”


All of this to say, if you are dealing with the same issues - I RELATE. Also, don't look for any mom advice from me because none of what I'm doing is right or is working.     If you aren't dealing with the same issues, I am accepting hugs or reassurance that I'm not failing as a mother.   Here's hoping that age three is better!

Friday, March 21, 2014

Poop and vomit

More vomit than poop recently, but yes, that’s what my life is all about.

I’ll start with the poop, because I know how everyone loves a good poop stories (Fun drinking game, take a drink every time you read the word poop. Yep, that one counts too.)

So it was a typical frenetic Sunday night and Hubs was giving Caroline a bath. No, let me be more specific, he was giving her a bubble bath. She loves the bubbles and that means fewer tantrums for us, yay.

I’m not sure what I was doing, giving Maggie a bottle, folding laundry, cooking, facilitating world peace, take your pick. Well I stopped whatever was keeping me occupied when I hear hubs say tentatively, “I think Caroline pooped in the tub”.

“You think!?” My response was as urgent as my footsteps into our tiny bathroom.

He explained his uncertainty just as I saw the problem, the bubbles! We used a plastic cup to push the bubbles around until…yep, poop. One turd surfaced between the bubble mountains. If there is one turd, there is bound to be another.

I sprung into action, grabbed Caroline and pulled her soapy self out of the poop water. I responded to her screams of protest with the explanation that poop goes in the POTTY, not the tub . I demanded that hubs get me a bucket with bleach in it.

I then started the tedious work of locating and scooping rouge turds out of the tub and dumping them in the toilet.

Meanwhile, Hubs is searching for a bucket or some other bleach holding receptacle, a naked Caroline is running around with bubbles still clinging to her wet hair and my angel Maggie is cooing quietly in her chair.

I’ll tell you what, it was like the Where’s Waldo of poop in there. Once I scooped all the poop it was time to bring on the bleach, bleach the tub, the toys and the girl. Ok, I didn’t use bleach on her, but you get the idea. And now, we are back at square one. I'm sure that whatever the poop inturrupted that night has not yet been completed.

I was going to tell you about poop AND vomit but I don’t think I’ve distanced myself enough from the vomit to talk about it just yet, maybe another day.

Poop (one more drink)

Friday, March 7, 2014

Fast times

OMG my life is moving so fast right now Like so fast that there isn't time for punctuation so just take a deep breath and read this a giant run-on sentence and you can maybe understand how I feel.

Its all CRAZINESS. Good craziness, but breathless-lucky if I get the dishes done-eating take out every night so there is time for living room dance parties-traveling to three cities in two weeks-making important presentations to even more important people-juggling tantrums and midnight feedings craziness.

Luckily I have my Husband. He has a way of taking my whirling dervish tendencies and slowing them down. I think he would say I do the same for him sometimes.

Ok got to go my hotel room is ready and I have work to do....