Poop and vomit

More vomit than poop recently, but yes, that’s what my life is all about.

I’ll start with the poop, because I know how everyone loves a good poop stories (Fun drinking game, take a drink every time you read the word poop. Yep, that one counts too.)

So it was a typical frenetic Sunday night and Hubs was giving Caroline a bath. No, let me be more specific, he was giving her a bubble bath. She loves the bubbles and that means fewer tantrums for us, yay.

I’m not sure what I was doing, giving Maggie a bottle, folding laundry, cooking, facilitating world peace, take your pick. Well I stopped whatever was keeping me occupied when I hear hubs say tentatively, “I think Caroline pooped in the tub”.

“You think!?” My response was as urgent as my footsteps into our tiny bathroom.

He explained his uncertainty just as I saw the problem, the bubbles! We used a plastic cup to push the bubbles around until…yep, poop. One turd surfaced between the bubble mountains. If there is one turd, there is bound to be another.

I sprung into action, grabbed Caroline and pulled her soapy self out of the poop water. I responded to her screams of protest with the explanation that poop goes in the POTTY, not the tub . I demanded that hubs get me a bucket with bleach in it.

I then started the tedious work of locating and scooping rouge turds out of the tub and dumping them in the toilet.

Meanwhile, Hubs is searching for a bucket or some other bleach holding receptacle, a naked Caroline is running around with bubbles still clinging to her wet hair and my angel Maggie is cooing quietly in her chair.

I’ll tell you what, it was like the Where’s Waldo of poop in there. Once I scooped all the poop it was time to bring on the bleach, bleach the tub, the toys and the girl. Ok, I didn’t use bleach on her, but you get the idea. And now, we are back at square one. I'm sure that whatever the poop inturrupted that night has not yet been completed.

I was going to tell you about poop AND vomit but I don’t think I’ve distanced myself enough from the vomit to talk about it just yet, maybe another day.

Poop (one more drink)