Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween

I love Halloween. I will never grow out of wanting to dress up.

Every year I love putting time and effort into a great costume. We have a Halloween contest every year at my job. It is always fun to show up to work to see what people have done.

This year my favorite was Richard Simmons - he came running into the office, jazz hands fluttering, squealing about how excited he is.

We also had someone dressed up as a functional box of wine, a dead concept (advertising humor), ugly Betty, a pirate, an evil bunny, and a scarecrow.

I did not have time to pull together a costume this year. It's go big or go home for me. I wouldn't settle for a sheet over my head. So instead I'll reminisce about the many costumes from years past - starting in college
Chiquita banana woman
Devil in a blue dress
Dorothy from wizard of oz
Pink fuzzy dice (this was a costume with Fiance)
Fiance was Fudge'ums from the domino's commercial and I was a domino's delivery person.
Fiance and I were Bank robbers - masks, wigs and trench coats.

Last year's costume took the cake - Mo and I were bobble heads of ourselves. They actually bobbled too.

Happy Haunting.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

New favorite pics

Cold Saturday morning trying to cuddle with a wiggle-worm of a dog.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Side of the bed

So last night Fiance decided to move the furniture around in the bedroom - Every once in a while, he does this. I guess it gets too boring for him, so he wants to change things up.

Anyways, I heard him shuffling furniture around and knew what was going on. When it was time to go to bed, I went to check it out. he had taken all the furniture and placed it along two walls. You walk into the bedroom and every piece of furniture is either at the south wall or east wall. It left the room feeling like those two walls have some black hole sucking all the furniture to one side and if you stand there long enough, you two will succumb to the gravity effect.

The real problem was with the bed - He thinks that he should always sleep on the side of the bed that is closest to the door. He thinks he is protecting me, which is hilarious because he wouldn't wake up if a freight train came through the room.

He switched the bed to the opposite wall, which means, my side of the bed is now closest to the door. He now defines this as his side of the bed. I argue that my side of the bed is my side of the bed no matter where it is placed (even in the suction of the black hole). I always lose this argument - He's protecting me remember.

SO - long story short, I didn't sleep at all last night. I need my SIDE of the bed. Seriously, this won't cut it. I could deal with the crazy tilt situation of the furniture, but don't mess with my side of the bed.

Monday, October 13, 2008

The dress

So momma T brought up my wedding dress this weekend - Thanks MOM!

i was really excited to get it and try it on again. I wanted to dance around, feeling pretty singing the song from Sleeping Beauty!

Instead, the whole thing was rather anti-climatic. It took FOREVER to get it on. I was sweating the whole time, worried my dress will smell like BO. I don't do very well standing - guess its good practice.

It was also too big. I knew it would be too big, but I guess what I really liked about the dress is that it sucked me in so tight, I looked skinny - A dress too big won't do that for you.

The funniest part was when biscuit had me stand on an upside-down basked for the pedestal affect. It collapsed under my weight and I almost bit it.

Not to worry, I still really like the dress. I just remember it being much more fabulous.

I'm really getting tired of the wedding stuff, glad we opted for a short engagement.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Getting Bigger?

Ok so before I get into my topic for the week, I’m going to give you my standard “fat comment to follow” disclosure.

I do not think I’m fat. When speaking of frustrations of weight gain, I am referencing a once smaller self – the one that existed when ephedra was legal, when I lived on natural light and trekked daily the hills of Athens. I do not think I’m fat but I am gaining weight and I am getting ready to bitch about it.

Today, I sat down and felt something on my lap. It felt like it was under my comfortable, loose dress. It almost felt like part of my own body resting with all it’s weight and glory right there on the top of my legs. What was it????? It was my stomach! My roll has gotten so big and lazy that it can’t even support itself – Oh I’m so hot.

I compare this realization to the women who don’t have boobs. Once they get pregnant, and the chest grows, they discover the boob pit. The boob is now so heavy it rests on the chest below, creating a nice place for sweat to gather.

So now I have a big chunk of fat resting on my legs. I am too lazy to even hold it up with my abdominal muscles – great, Sitting at a desk ALL DAY is really paying off.

I think I have to name this new belly pouch that is too lazy to hold itself up and break down any fat. Any suggestions, cause I think it’s going to be here for a while.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Where are you!?

In my family we joke about how hard it can be to get ahold of one another. Below is a funny exchange between my mom and little biscuit.

Conversation between momma T and biscuit:

Friday afternoon:
Biscuit: Mom can I call you back. I’m at the bank.

Momma T: Sure thing baby girl.

Biscuit: ok love you, bye.

Momma T: Loveyoubye

Saturday morning voicemail from Momma T
Momma T: Biscuit, are you still at the bank? Call me back

Sunday voicemail from Momma T
Momma T: Are you STILL at the bank? I hope you’re not being held hostage! Call me back

Call on Monday from Biscuit to Momma T
Biscuit: Hi mom, I JUST got done at the bank.

Friday, October 3, 2008


So I was reading my friend's blog and it inspired me. I was thinking about those distinct smells that can’t be mistaken for anything else. Below are some I could think of off the top of my head.

Nostalgic smells

When someone first lights a cigarette and all that burns is the paper – very different and distinct smell from the cigarette itself – I LOVE THAT SMELL

Franklin – I can’t really define it but he just smells like home. I love to bury my face in him and take a big whiff

Wet Dog – Growing up with dogs, it’s not necessarily a good smell but I know it so distinctly

Downey – My first boyfriend used to wash his clothes in way too much Downey. Now I smell it and am convinced he’s in the vicinity.

Horrible smells
Burning hair – If you’ve smelled it you know it.

Lighting the wrong end of a cigarette – If you’ve ever been drunk and blindly grabbed a cigarette, or if you’re a girl and had that “lucky cigarette” in your pack and grabbed that one when its dark – you know that smell and it doesn’t go away!

Campfire – This can be good and bad, right now it’s the smell of fall but spend all night next to the fire and you can’t get the smell out of your hair – its enough to make me sick.

Too much cologne/perfume – Like I said, I have a strong sense of smell – Other people must not have the same sensitivities because they POUR on the floral/masculine liquid. Those people give me headaches

Stale ashtrays – I had a roommate in college that asked in coke cans all over our dorm room and didn’t clean them up. It was such a stale, stank, sent.

Burnt popcorn – reminds me of the assassination attempt – see previous post

Fabreeze – anyone that thinks this stuff eliminates odors is just WRONG. This smell makes me feel dirty. Why would you spray it instead of actually cleaning! Try and cover up cigarette smoke with it and you get an entirely new, more nasty smell.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Dance

FiancĂ© and I are never out of dog food and cat food at the same time. It would be so convenient if we could just buy them both at the same time. We’ve tried to always buy both at the same time no matter if we are out or not, but always end up with a TON of cat food. This means sometimes Sammy just eats cat food until we have time to go to the store. I’m such a good mom, I know.

Right now, we have a dog-food-sized bag of cat food. FiancĂ© bought the cheap kind. The cheap kind resulted in Frankie’s upset stomach and some nasty dingle berries. So I had to go out and get the good, healthy food in the orange bag.

I brought the bag home and was immediately the center of attention. I set the bag down in the kitchen and let the dance begin.

It doesn’t matter if its dog food or cat food, both kids think it is their rightful property. I call it a dance because each movement is so subtle that if you didn’t know them, you might not get what is going on.

The can will rub on the bag in gratitude, the dog then nonchalantly walks up to the bag – her presence pushes the cat to another corner of the room. The whole time the bag of food is in sight, Sammy’s eyes are on the cat. If Franklin is able to get close to the bag – no sudden move is made, Sammy simply gets up and positions herself in between the food and the cat – Size is her advantage.

So it seems that Franklin is the looser here, but he is no dummy. He is patient and eventually Sammy has to go outside. Last night while Sammy was doing her business. I hear a ripping noise from the kitchen. I shit you not, that the cat was ripping the bag of food open with his teeth. He would take one giant bite and pull.

Sammy comes in, sees the damage the cat has done, and refuses to leave sight of the food. We always make her come to bed and she begrudgingly joins us.

Last night she must have been tormented by the thought of the cat eating all the food, so she snuck downstairs and SLEPT next to that bag of food.

OK enough tormenting the animals – I put the food away.