Thursday, October 9, 2008

Getting Bigger?

Ok so before I get into my topic for the week, I’m going to give you my standard “fat comment to follow” disclosure.

I do not think I’m fat. When speaking of frustrations of weight gain, I am referencing a once smaller self – the one that existed when ephedra was legal, when I lived on natural light and trekked daily the hills of Athens. I do not think I’m fat but I am gaining weight and I am getting ready to bitch about it.

Today, I sat down and felt something on my lap. It felt like it was under my comfortable, loose dress. It almost felt like part of my own body resting with all it’s weight and glory right there on the top of my legs. What was it????? It was my stomach! My roll has gotten so big and lazy that it can’t even support itself – Oh I’m so hot.

I compare this realization to the women who don’t have boobs. Once they get pregnant, and the chest grows, they discover the boob pit. The boob is now so heavy it rests on the chest below, creating a nice place for sweat to gather.

So now I have a big chunk of fat resting on my legs. I am too lazy to even hold it up with my abdominal muscles – great, Sitting at a desk ALL DAY is really paying off.

I think I have to name this new belly pouch that is too lazy to hold itself up and break down any fat. Any suggestions, cause I think it’s going to be here for a while.

5 comments:

monkers27 said...

I think that you should name it. If you no longer support it then it is now its own being....Name it

monkers27 said...

I think that you should name it. If you no longer support it then it is now its own being....Name it

mogreen said...

Well, obviously Patricia's taken. How about Phil?

Linda said...

Ok so it could be worse - I have rolls supporting each other, which means that they don't sit on my lap - they're more like conjoined twins. And...you can't name it Phil...maybe Phyllis?

Kate said...

I call mine the "Ryan Roll." I blame my weight gain on our workplace. Free food + long hours + stress = bad news for my waistline!