Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Yard Sale

So the fiancé and I decided to have a yard sale to make money for the upcoming nuptials.

I was excited to get rid of all the old hand-me-down college stuff and The future hubby was interested in making some dough. I mentioned the yard sale to a couple friends and they decided to join in and to sell their stuff at the yard sale too.

WHO KNEW what we were in for.

The sticky 95-degree day started off slowly. Once my clothing was soaked through from hauling the junk to the yard, I sat down and settled into my second skin of sweat.

The morning was boring - This is me doing the yard sale dance -

Besides my lovely dancing - The first sign that the day would be interesting involved a telescope that my friend was trying to sell. A potential buyer looked through the lens only to see a dead mouse curled up inside. How’s that for astronomy!

Early on I was getting frantic that we wouldn’t sell anything and I really didn’t want to move anything back inside. That paired with my inability to sell things led to some crazy sales techniques. Someone would pick up and item and ask how much. I would tell them the price and before I got a reaction, give them a lower price, then a lower one – afraid they would put it down stunned at our greed. It went something like this:

“How much is this?’

“Ten dollars, 5 dollars, no wait, 2 dollars?”

I spent the day practically giving away everything. This did not make the fiance too happy - remember his goal was to make some dough. Fiancé, on the other hand, spent most of the day in the air-conditioning living room watching golf – SO YES, I sold the 32 inch TV for $20 - that's just what happens when you put the impatient, frantic, everything-must go girl outside to work the yard sale.

By 10:30 AM I was ready for a beer. Little did I know that getting a buzz equals higher prices and bad math. An example of my tipsy logic

-A lady came by and was looking at the books when I told her they are a dollar each or three for five. Hmmmm, somehow I don’t think bulk pricing works that way. Needless to say, she didn’t buy a book (or three).

As I'm writing this, I can see how long it could end up – instead below are a list of the more interesting tidbits or lessons learned.

Fact – 40% of yard sale shoppers did not have a majority of their teeth.

Shirts were evidently optional

If the people working the yard sale are enjoying a beer, that means it the buyers must
go back into the beat up van and grab some MGD’s while they shop.

Beware the cracked out shoppers. They show up in Men’s boxers, get excited about every item for sale, and jet off before you know what happened.

If someone offers you two dollars to drive them home, Moriya will do it.

If someone needs help loading their couch at their house – Jonathan will help (even if it means riding away in a scary truck), Nick will not.

Drive up purchases do happen at yard sales. They go something like this –
Someone pulls up and yells out the window, “How much for the TV?
$20” I yelled back (fiancé is still pissed at this deep discount).
As a response to my price, they reach their hand out the window with $20 in it, indicating agreement to the price. Meanwhile, an accomplice jumps out of the back seat and goes to pick up the TV.
Just like that, drive up yard sale purchase. No need to turn off the vehicle.

And the unanimous favorite quote of the day -
Aren’t you my parole officer?
Response “No, I went to art school

Favorite customer – Larry (responsible for quote of the day and for buying way too much of our crap).

Please forgive the long post but I have to admit that this was one of the more interesting weekends I've in quite a while.


monkers27 said...

That made me laugh out loud! What a great story!

Don't stop blogging!

Mo said...

This was a HILARIOUS day. So many funny things happened. I'm glad we were all together or else no one would've even believed the crazies we met that day.

jenna :) said...

our neighborhood yard sale is next weekend- would you like to try to sell our stuff as well? your stories crack me up! i love your point of view!! :)