This Week

Honestly not much to talk about this week. The weekend was one of debauchery. Got very drunk and couldn't find anything the next day. Was picked up by Mo and stumbled to the pool where I got crispy burnt. Hangover means forgetting to put on sunscreen - OUCH.

I've also been getting ready for the third annual Fourth Of JULY party. Biscuit is helping me throw the party this year - shout out to little Biscuit. Going to be burgers, dogs, kids, fireworks and Sangria. The combination of those things usually provides the setting for some good stories.

It's an open house atmosphere, come on by if you're not afraid of the east side. Maybe this year it wont storm cause God knows there isn't enough room inside my house for all those people.

Fun with Technology

OK, I know that webcams are not anything new by any stretch of the imagination, but it's new to me. My upgraded WORK laptop has one.

I am now skyping with Padre and having fun with the "photo booth" application.

See below for the comic book version of me. (much better than the real thing. I've got to get better makeup!)



You'll notice I'm in my cube, so it's the Clark Kent side of things. Wait till I superman this shit up.

HUSBAND and I are going to have SO much fun with the T-Shirt maker!

Test House

I have a new perspective that is helping me tackle some of the more daunting home improvement projects and it is this: Our house is just a "Test" house. This house is just for us to try out our skills or get better at them so we're ready for our next house.

In other words, before moving in I didn't know how to tackle painting paneling. We tested it out and discovered that you should have more ventilation when applying primer. Lost a lot of brain cells to that test.

AND

I didn't really know how to change a light-switch. Let's test it out. OK, maybe I didn't need to turn the power off to the entire house, but I didn't get electrocuted.

So when I got the idea in my head to re-caulk the tub, i didn't worry that I had NO IDEA what I was getting into. It's just a test.

So let me just fill you in on what I learned.
Removing caulk:
The people that flipped our house didn't know the meaning of craftsmanship
Mold isn't as gross and slimy when it's dry
A razor blade can't get all the caulk off but it will scrap plastic off the bath-fitter
Old caulk doesn't come off in nice big strips like on TV
This was a bigger job than I anticipated
I should have planned where to shower before I got started.

Applying Caulk
Make sure you have a working caulk gun BEFORE the store closes
This is a good one - you can cut the tip of the caulk, but nothing will come out until you break the seal
DO NOT TOUCH THE CAULK it is sticky and will stick to everything
Do not get meticulous—the clumps come from trying to add more, clean up, or smooth out the caulk
Have a wet rag handy (or a couple of them if you're new to this)
Warn the spouse that no criticism will be tolerated, since I had the guts to take on the daunting task, i mean test.

Finally, last lesson - clean up's a bitch, which is why I still haven't done it yet.

Belated Spring Cleaning

So Husband is out of town this week, which is a rare occurrence. Usually I am the one out of town and he manages the house.

Since i have all of this alone time, I've decided to do some major cleaning. My first project will be a big one so I'm going to start tonight. I'm going to re-caulk our nasty bathtub. This will be a big chore so I'm sure I'll have a long post about my mishaps and before and after pictures.

I also have to tackle the volcano of laundry and ironing that has piled up, clean the nasty oven and do the typical sweep/mop/dust. THANK GOD the dishwasher is fixed.

Gotta get ready for our party so the house can get thoroughly trashed all over again.

How does your garden grow?

I am so proud to show you how my baby grass has grown. It is still young and fine but you can see how it has started to fill out. I’m so proud. If this is indicative of motherhood, watch out. You know that Family Guy episode where the guy slams his pictures of his kids into strangers’ faces?


In addition to the grass, I planted some Clematis to try and cover the ugly but functional chain link fence. It doesn’t look like much, but only a month ago it was an inch off the ground. Hopefully by next year it will grow to a lush blanket of blooms hiding the old, rusting fence.


Finally, there is my first attempt at a vegetable garden. It’s a small bed with tomato plants, peppers, cucumber and a couple flowers. I’m a little worried about the cucumber, but we’ll see.

Summer Nights

We spent this past Monday night at a Clippers game, admiring the new field. Not only was it a beautiful summer night, it was dime a dog night. Husband’s brothers and I bought 20 hot dogs for only $2.00. Between the four of us we ate all but one. Leave it to Lincoln to eat SIX.

It was a great night and one of the reasons I really enjoy living here.

Growing

I really enjoy gardening. I wouldn't say I have a green thumb, but I'm not killing everything I touch either. All of my plants were gifts or purchased at a local nursery. There have, of course, been some casualties due to the kids rough housing. There was an indoor christmas cactus that survived the first crash onto the floor only to succumb to a life-ending game of 'get the kitty'. Out back, we have a rhododendron that was so pretty until Sammy chased a basketball into it. It's still alive but has been crippled, relying on crutches to stand up. And then there are the ornamental grasses that both kids like to eat. They walk over and much away with their back teeth, as if they're goats or something.

I've come to realize I need to buy only the most substantial, hardy plants. No orchids or roses at our house.

So, in my ongoing attempt to maintain the life of my plants, I decided to seed the bare spots in our lawn, (other greenery that battles the wear and tear of Sammy). I've seeded sections of the lawn before, so I know I can do it successfully.

Why then, I wonder, was I so surprised and delighted to see the first sprouts of grass covering the soil this morning? Maybe because I can't believe something that fragile can find life in our rough and tough life. Maybe it's because it is the only thing I've actually grown from a seed.

Despite the reason, I was so proud and happy this morning to find the green stubble appear like a five o'clock shadow. Let's hope it can make it through the chaos! I'm rooting for you baby grass!

Dental Hygiene

Book Signing

So David Sedaris was in Columbus at a book signing on Friday. Biscuit is such a HUGE fan that she contemplated calling off work to attend. After hearing a couple of her desperate voicemails, Momma T and I hatched a plan to surprise her.

The plan was to wait in line, get her (and my) books signed, then, eat where Biscuit was working. Momma T called and made the reservations under “Sylivia Potterbutts”. We were a little concerned we didn’t have a real reservation because Momma T is not known for her deceptive ways.

The day of the signing, I was concerned about the line, so I jetted out of work at 5:00. I got down there, went to the counter and asked how this all would work. Turns out there were two lines; a pre-sale line and an overflow line. I asked if I could buy a book and be part of the pre-sale line. Nope, but I could just go ahead and get in the “pre-sale” line since he started signing already. The line was only about 10 people deep. SCORE.

I come to find out from a co-worker, if I had stayed in the overflow line where I belonged, I would have had to wait until midnight.

So here I am, about 5 people deep and I discovered something about myself. I am nervous about meeting someone famous, sweaty pits, shaky hands nervous. I start trying to talk myself out of the heart-racing, nervous fit, but I only succeeded in amplifying it. I didn’t have long to wait before I was in the room with the author.

Let me paint the scene—It is a quiet room where only two or three people from the line are aloud in at a time. Mr. Sedaris is talking to the couple in front of me. Everything is calm and slow, which is in stark contrast to the prancing, leaning, shifting anticipation I exude.

He was talking to the people in front of me about what school they went to. He asks if OSU is in Athens. “NO that’s OU” I shout out, the excitement spewing loudly in the quiet room. THAT’S MY SCHOOL! He’s talking to people about stuff I KNOW ABOUT. Neither the couple in front of me, nor Mr. Sedaris even glanced my way. It is at this moment, I realize the crazy lady I have become. People are actually pretending I don’t exist, the crazy might be contagious.

When it’s my turn, I have made a firm decision to keep the crazy under control.
He takes the first book and asks who is Biscuit.
My bumbling response: “She’s my sister. She really wanted to be here but has to work. She is a huge fan.”

Mr. Sedaris: “Is she a stripper”

Surprised and fascinated by the randomness of the question I ramble a reply “No, she’s a server, but she’d tell you she’s a stripper, she’s a character. Actually she works at this restaurant that you should go to after this if you are hungry. She would buy you a drink if not your entire dinner”

WHAT did I just say???

Mr. Sedaris, in his slow and calm manner, grabs the other book and ask’s “Do you have a cat?”

Again, surprised by his randomness I ramble some more “I do, his name is Franklin. He’s a character”

Mr. Sedaris: “Good, I like it when cats have people names”

I’m so pleased by this compliment that I almost forget how dumb I sound.

There is more to the conversation but it just is more of the same, him asking questions and me rambling, hoping a witty comment will find itself into the bumbling nonsense I’m spewing– but nothing.

At the end I even asked him again to come to Biscuit’s restaurant “She’d love to serve you” I blurt out as I tried to walk out the wrong door.

WOW

As soon as I leave I call Padre, Momma T and Nick Nick to tell them I got the books signed and we should meet at my house before dinner. Besides I need to recount the story and let them all know what an idiot I am.

Nothing Good on TV - Sammy begs to differ

Its a quiet summer evening in the Rinehart household. We've just finished a healthy dinner and are talking about our day. The TV is on more for background noise than entertainment. Jonathan pauses the DVR for a minute while we look at something on my computer. Before we know it Sammy has almost taken the TV out - barking and jumping fervently. What was she all worked up about? We had paused the TV on a close up of a COW.

By the time I get my camera, we lost it (not sure how that happened with DVR and all). She had gotten our attention so below is our attempt at recreating her excitement. Not as surprising as the cow, but she is just as eager.



And what was Franklin doing during all this commotion - Napping in a box of course.

Bolt

Anyone seen this movie? This is a disney movie about a dog that is a TV star but thinks the set is real. It is animated.

Anyway, we were watching it this weekend and I have to commend the animation. Not two seconds into the movie and Sammy was up in front of the TV growling at the cartoon dog. They did such a good job with animating Bolt, it fooled Sammy. She was curious when Bolt whined and barking furiously when Bolt was growling.

It was probably more entertaining than the movie.