Thursday, May 23, 2013

Down the rabbit hole.

Do you ever read something on the internet that is so familiar that it almost makes you gasp? That’s been happening a lot with me lately. That may be because of the amount of time I've been blog surfing. I could say that I’m just not that busy at work and have been killing time. But the honest answer is that I’m currently HATING not enjoying  my job, so I’m avoiding it. Want to waste some time an joing me? Here are two new blogs that have kept me distracted as of late.

Momastery – I was introduced to this blog by the these Columbus clowns. Sometimes when I get so caught up in BEING THE BEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD, this blog helps ground me. Full disclosure, there are some posts that will leave you in tears, because they are so heartwarming/heatbreaking/bittersweet. I usually stop reading those posts the minute my eyes well up, because, well I am at work…

RantsFromMommyland – This blog makes me laugh daily. I am always amazed at how these bloggers manage to be hilarious and heartwarming at the same time. It is probably the self-depricating humor that I appreciate.

One afternoon I was spiraling down the rabbit hole of blogs-linking-to-other-blogs when I found this post and shocked to read something that so accurate describes ME. The author was talking about her depression returning and not recognizing it. Let me clarify, I am not depressed, That is not necessarily what I found relevant. Instead it was how she described herself. There was one paragraph that is ME, although I have never been able to articulate it as well

“I’m an introvert by nature, which surprises people because I’m outgoing, I like people, and I’m often loud, at least when I’m comfortable. Being alone gives me energy, though, so while I enjoy parties, I’m something of a dried out husk by the end of them”

I've tried to explain this to Hubs, who is the complete opposite. It also explains why something as fun and easygoing as having houseguest can leave me feeling fragile and utterly exhausted when they leave, spent and dried up. Don't get me wrong, I would do it all again. They are awesome friends. It just takes me some alone time to rejuvinate.

The author proceeds to describe, with hilariaty I might add, that she was feelings anxious and was being an irrational bitch. I can relate to those feelings too, but I’m placing that blame squarely on my pregnancy.

I also haven’t been that interesting in hanging out with friends or going to parties, but again, pregnant. Who really wants to do that when, it’s not fun to get dressed up, it keeps you up past bedtime, exacerbates your exhaustion, you are physically uncomfortable and you can’t imbibe. The author describes a feeling dread when faced with going out – luckily I do not relate to this feeling, but I could see it happening because of how much I relate to the paragraph above.

Also, after Caroline was born, I dealt with some postpartum depression that had me befuddled. The reason I was so confused is better summed up by the author in the following paragraph:

Here’s the thing: I’m not depressed. I’m not sad. I haven’t been living in a deep, dark pit of despair. I’m happy with my family. I like writing. I have fantastic friends. I’m more fulfilled at this point in my life than at any other. More content. More purposeful. I love getting older; I finally know myself a little, I like myself most of the time, and I can generally figure out a) what I really need and b) how to get it.

All it in all, I was unprepared for with how much I related to this stranger on the web. I just thought I'd share and see if you all have ever been struck with a similar experience. 

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