Turning 40 during a worldwide pandemic

This is the post I wrote when it all started, before the drama of the following three weeks ensued.

Watch for the next post shortly.


Written March 19 - 2020
Here I am, at home, where I shall be for the next three weeks AT LEAST. The Corona virus, COVID-19 has been named a pandemic. As I type this, here is the heart of the country, Ohio has closed all school, all major business with the exception of groceries, banks and hospitals. The restaurant industry is forced to only allow carryout. The financial markets are threatening to drop as fast as they did in the great depression. Interest rates are at 0%, but who can borrow money when they don't have a job to pay back the loan?

I am lucky that I work for a bank. Right now our focus is on crisis communication and digging deep to see what programs we can pull together to help the communities. Other than that, all initiatives have been halted. So I'm here, at home, with my whole family, trying to keep a sense of normalcy that is the last illusion of control over our lives. 

It feels like every day the pendulum of how I'm feeling emotionally swings dramatically and quickly from one side to the other. 

One moment I'm feeling safe, secure and purposeful. We'll ride this out for a couple weeks, weather the storm, protect those that are susceptible and be thankful we're in a position to do so. 

The next moment I'm reading scary reports of the death tolls in Italy, watching the stock market drop by double digit percentage points and thinking life will never be normal again. 

Just as quickly JoJo asks for a hug and I'm back to grateful that this virus is sparing most of the young children. 

Oh yeah, and yesterday was my 40th birthday. I mad a big fuss about my birthday this year, wanting to do something fun and different that included a night on the town. Well that didn't happen. And I'm really ok with that. The most frustrating part is all the people that said we'll get together when this is over. No we wont. I know that as quickly as this all began, we're going to want to erase it from our memory. Life will get busy again. People will be busy with their preoccupations and life will go on. I'm sure it was meant to be, but I'm going to feel sorry for myself all the same and admit that I"m disappointed.




  Added today,  4/7/20 - wow, I sound like a whiny baby. Little did I know, my plumbing had a lovely birthday present in store for me....