The other night after Caroline was asleep; I did my nightly ‘peek in’. Once she’s sound asleep I have to check that 1) she’s still breathing 2) content 3) reassure myself that she is, in fact, awesome.
I was closing the door after going through my checklist when I couldn’t help myself from saying to Hubs, “I can’t believe I’m going to have TWO babies soon. I think my heart might explode.” It’s at night when the calmness takes over the house, the anxiety and pressures of the day drift away that I’m left with the heart-swelling blessings my life has brought me.
During the day, those feeling get lost amongst the bills, alarm clocks, work, dinner, diapers, tantrums, and schedules. The idea of two kids has done its share of FREAKING ME OUT. But underneath it all, is that love and joy that is so rich and deep it scares me.
I feel guilty that days sometimes go by without this recognition, but I’m too type A and practical to realistically spend my life in reverence. Instead I’ll write about those moments, give them life. When I click through the archives of my blog, these feelings don’t get lost or forgotten.