Thursday, April 9, 2020

COVID-19 - the sewage story

So yeah,

This is one for the ages.We are currently under orders from the government to shelter-in-place as a public health crisis of a world pandemic is upon us.I'm sure once this is over, or once we have a vaccine, there will be all kinds of views of how this impacted the world and the economy.

But for posterity's sake, this is about what we're experiencing right here, right now. School was canceled the week of March 16 for three weeks. Earlier this week, the closure was extended to May 1. There is a lot of doubt that the kids will go back this year. Our dear Nonnie also had to close March 23 through May 1 as well. 

So what does that mean for us. It means I am working from home for a bank (an essential service during this time of crisis). Jonathan is not working. And we have lesson plans for the Caroline and Maggie so they don't fall behind. 

As you gathered from my previous post I was feeling pretty sorry for myself because my big 40th birthday party was cancelled. No going out, no spa day, no time with my parents. I was sad, but that quickly turned into anxiety about all the small businesses that I know will not survive this. I quickly got over any self-pity and decided to take it all on - the work from home, co-parenting, teacher, toddler-wrangler and number-one mom.

It was Sunday, March 22 and I was motivated. (Total tangent this was the day that Jonathan and I met in Panama City 19 years ago!!) After a big breakfast for the whole family, I headed downstairs to start the mounds of laundry. 

I opened the door and was smacked in the face with stink. I pushed it away and went to discover what had died in our basement. I round the corner of the stairs to make out in the dark that the floor was wet and.... chunky. I pulled the string light on to see POOP. Solid turds resting on my basement floor as if the dog had been defecating in the basement. The only reason I knew this was not the case was the toilet-paper remains in the water that soaked the cement. 

I ran up the stairs, yelling "WE HAVE A PROBLEM! THERE IS POOP IN THE BASEMENT!" Obviously, I wasn't thinking. This proclamation only spiked their curiosity and drove all within earshot (everyone) down the stairs to see for themselves. 

After freaking out, calling anyone we could for help, confirming that they would come THAT DAY, the poop jokes, questions and accusations started...

Those aren't my poops, they must be stranger poop
They can't be the kids poop, it's too big
HOW did they come up from the drain fully formed? 
HOW MUCH IS THIS GOING TO COST 
Should we try and clean it up before someone comes to fix the problem?

The first person on the scene was Keenan. We greeted him at the door with all the gratitude and thanks. Keenan even jumped in on the jokes - "wow, those are some fresh turds." That comment struck me because I wondered what he usually sees when responding to a sewage backup? Stale turds? A question for another day...

Keenan outlined the options for us and the one that was recommended was cleaning the entire line with a blade (really just a high powered water jet). Yes, yes and yes - just fix the problem.

About an hour later reinforcements arrived to do the dirty work. As is typical fashion, Jonathan had a connection with the head of the crew. He had worked with his wife. Through the small talk, we learned that he was also a friend of Buck's. I think it was more divine intervention than happy accident that this Marine was the head of the crew.

As the crew got to work clearing the pipes, I busied the girls with tablets, shut Khali in the kennel, put Joe to bed for a nap and generally stayed out of their way. A flurry of activity ensued, including shouting to turn things on, people up and down the basement stairs and even some shouting. I tried to imagine this is all normal unless they tell me otherwise. The flurry calmed down and I hoped they were solving the problem.

They did not solve the problem, instead they FOUND the problem. The head of the crew came to find me. He didn't mince words, "you're screwed". I quickly grabbed Jonathan before I let him say any more. I needed us both to hear the extent of our screwage at the same time. My anxiety was already screaming in my face and I was fighting to ignore it.

He took us out to the back yard, right outside the house and pointed to a spray painted spot on the ground, only 2 feet from the foundation.

"The pipe is crushed. This is where we think it's crushed"

More words

"It could be crushed in other places in the yard."

More words.

"We have to dig. Homeowners insurance usually doesn't cover anything outside of the house. Just to dig costs $6,000 and then the remaining fees depend on what other problems we find"

More words.

Jonathan negotiating.

Anxiety screaming,

"The earliest we can have an excavation team here is Thursday."

Wait WHAT? Even that last statement made my anxiety shut up for a second. We are under shelter in place orders and have NO INDOOR PLUMBING with three little kids?

Considering how my mind was racing, I was surprised that I was able to calmly ask, "How are we supposed to go to the bathroom in the meantime?"

His response was akin to a shoulder shrug. I think he said something along the lines of let it sit in the toilet and don't flush....

At that point I told Jonathan to take over and excused myself before I melted into a pile of tears and anxiety. I went up to my bedroom and crawled into bed paralyzed with what to do next.

All the while the girls were annoying everyone on the internet with video calls through an app that I installed for distraction. Bubby and Grandpa were two of lucky recipients of the incessant call attempts. I should also add that the family was very aware of my current status because of the frantic WTF texts I was sending.

From the girls room I hear Grandpa, in his dad voice, instruct Maggie to bring the tablet to her mom. She brings it to me and I facetime with Dad as he tells me he's booked us a hotel for the night with adjoining rooms and a pool for the kids. No arguing, just go.

I cried with relief, exhaustion and gratitude to have someone just make the next decision. Thank you Mom and Dad.

The story will continue in the next post COVID-19 - Shelter in Place, Hotel Style












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